Fact or Urban Myth: About those Fucking signs!


Ok folks, don’t get up in arms — this is not a “BAD” word.

Its about a little town in Austria that is actually named “FUCKING”.

No kidding — This is very true, population around 100.

A sign that keeps getting stolen has Fuckers upset!

Now, we at wacked can’t find what they call the locals there at a little town in Germany, but in New York the locals are New Yorkers so we assume that in Fucking the residents could be Fuckers? or Fuckerites? (Somehow that just sounds wacked).

Area Map in Germany showing where Fucking is located (LOL)

And what about the Fucking neighborhood?

What are the mothers called?

What would you be learning at the Fucking High School ?

Where is the Fucking Post Office?

Do they have any Fucking Post Cards?

Does the Fucking Hospital help you with anything else?

And the Fucking drivers?

If your friend came from another town, he wouldn’t be your Fucking friend.

We had a wonderful time at Fucking.

We stayed in a Fucking Motel!

Fucking needs government funding.

Does anyone care about Fucking?

Even the Google knows about Fucking!

Of course at first our That’s Wacked editors didn’t believe this was true .. So they did an Internet search. And it is all TRUE!!!

What is worse, the Fucking locals are up in arms about tourists stealing their town signs!

Here is an actual Associated Press Newspaper Clipping

More tidbits, and it gets even funnier! …. Pronounced ‘fooking’. The little hamlet of Fucking is named after the man who founded the village in the 6th century. His name? Focko.

Of course you can google this, or checking Fucking on Wikipedia — LOL

A Fucking highway information sign

But take our word on this. The Fucking Locals are very upset with all the attention and of course those Brits who are making such a big deal about the Fucking Town. LOL!!

Now That’s Wacked!!!

Don't Touch the Fucking Sign or the Fucking Police will haul your sorry butt off to the Fucking Jail and a Fucking Judge might give you a Fucking Fine. OK?

The Greatest Tatoo Ever!


This guy had, what He thought, was the Greatest tattoo ever,

OMG! That is Wacky!

Until he was sent to Prison…

Don’t know how true this is, but surely you would agree with us that THAT’S WACKED!!

The True Laws Of Life!


Wacked as these may be — These are the True Laws of Life!

Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner

Law of Probability

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal – especially if you dialed from your cell phone!

Law of the Alibi

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will likely have a flat tire.

Variation Law

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. When taking a shower with your hair and face totally in suds the water lines will turn off. When taking a warm hot shower the water heater suddenly forgets it is a water heater and changes to cold ice water.

Law of Close Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result

When you try to prove to someone that something won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to limit of your reach.

Law of the Theater & Sports Arena

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of The Lockers

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Location

No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument

Anything is possible when you don’t know what you are talking about.

Nixons Law

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of Supply and Demand

As soon as you find a product that you really like , they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

Doctors Law

If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you get there you’ll feel better. But, if you don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick!

The Law of Bargains

The buy of the century always happens when you are flat broke.

Law of the ATM

When you have an emergency and find yourself stranded and broke and miles from any help other than the ATM, the machine will always shred your card.

Taking all into consideration it is no wonder that these laws are ALL WACKED!

But Very True to life!

Go Ahead! Make My Day! Buy The Little Lady A Tazer!


LOL — we love our e-mail and all the Wacked Out Things we get in it. This story is such that it is very hard not to smile (let alone laugh) when you read it… But Beware! THIS IS REALLY WACKED! (and stupid too!)

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….
WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!

I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best..

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, ‘don’t do it dip-shit,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.

I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room..

Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative!

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs… I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.s… My wife, can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!! NOW THAT IS VERY WACKED!

How To Install the Cheapest but Best Home Security System


LOL… Another E-mail … But looks effective for getting the message across regarding the installation of of a cost effective home security system…

Your Home Security Experts: Cooter, Luke, Bertha and Slim! Don't leave your home with consulting with them first! NOW THAT'S WACKED!!

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don’t mess with the pit bulls or the German Shepherd; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter

A picture is always worth a few thousand words -- right Fido?

Nigerian Scams are WACKED!!


Don't be a sucker! Nigerian Scams abound!

WARNING: Do not believe a word of what you read below — it is another twist on the Nigerian Scams. I have left it all intact exactly as we received it in the email. As you can see they are getting even more elaborate. Remember, there is no such thing as free. LOL!!! This is really wacked!

——-

Attn: My Dear Good Friend

I am Mrs Mary Susan Derrick, I am a US citizen, 48 years Old. I reside here in New Braunfels Texas 78132. My residential address is as follows. 108 Crockett Court. Apt 303, New Braunfels Texas, United States, am thinking of relocating since I am now rich. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria many years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $20,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents, And I was directed to meet Mr Rev Benson Smack, who is the member of COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE, and I contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.

He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment. Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds of $1,600,000.0
0 Moreover, Mr Rev Benson Smack, showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments and I saw your name as one of the beneficiaries, and your email address, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you. I will advise you to contact Mr. Benson Smack

You have to contact him directly on this information below.

COMPENSATION AWARD HOUSE
Name : Rev Benson Smack
Email: revbenson247@yahoo.com.hk
Phone: +234-813-831-7102

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.

The only money I paid after I met Mr Rev Benson Smack was just $155 for the paper works, take note of that.

Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Mr Rev Benson Smack so that he can help you to Deliver your fund instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.
Mrs. Mary Susan Derrick.

Now if that doesn’t rattle your cage perhaps this video clip from AFP will bring it home to you:

NOW THAT IS REALLY WACKED!!!

Virus Programmers Beware — Execute on Sight!


Those who develop and distribute computer viruses should be executed on sight!

Warning to all hacker/programmers who like to develop and distribute computer viruses. That is a very wacked thing to do. There are many dangerous and malicious virus programmers out there who write viruses that have no goals other than to disrupt the personal, private and even public lives of others by destroying their operating systems, stealing their passwords or worse.

In our opinion these vermin of vermin should be hunted down and shot on sight. They are toxic beyond all means and their lives must be so boring anyway that they have no useful role in society than to emulate evil.

THATS WACKED!!!

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